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Blogs

Breakfast=20 of Champions 6/18: Oh, baby

Wed Jun 18, 8:05 AM
Reporter's=20 Notebook: Speed Dating

Tue Jun 17, 5:11 PM
Mak= e it a=20 date: Chef Shack

Tue Jun 17, 5:00 PM
St. = Paul Salut: The Preview

Tue Jun 17, 1:40 AM
Bill = Frisell returns to his "oasis"

Wed Jun 18, 4:33 AM
Fly= er of=20 the Week: Nice and Neat

Wed Jun 18, 12:08 AM
Yo= ,=20 Cyclists. Light up!

Tue Jun 17, 1:05 PM
Se= cretary=20 of Defense: Michael Cuddyer

Tue Jun 17, 12:15 PM
Blast=20 Works: Sleeper Hit of the Year?

Wed Jun 18, 5:36 AM
Phoenix=20 gets Retro with Zap! Vintage Video Games

Tue Jun 17, 3:39 AM
Every= body=20 hates John McCain

Wed Jun 18, 8:05 AM
Want = your own political TV ad? Got $500? Boom!

Wed Jun 18, 5:00 AM

National Features >

Westword

Dr.=20 Eternity

If Terry Grossman lives forever, he wants you to be there to see = it.

By Joel Warner
Dallas Observer

The=20 Man Who Would Be King

Freddy Haynes seemed a shoo-in to lead the NAACP. Then Obama's = pastor came=20 to town.

By Jesse Hyde
Broward-Palm Beach New Times

S= hark=20 Huggers

Tourists can't wait to get next to them--even though they're eating = machines.

By Amy Guthrie
Phoenix New Times

Visions=20 of Allison DuBois

There's no proof the real-life Medium has ever cracked a = case, but=20 her fans don't care.

By Megan Irwin

write=20 to the editor | e= mail a=20 friend | print = article |=20 write your=20 comment

"So my boyfriend and I went speed dating..."

Our intrepid reporter enters the modern world of = attention=20 deficit dates

By B= eth=20 Walton

Published on June 18, 2008

Last Wednesday I called my boyfriend and asked if I = could go=20 speed dating. "It's for work," I pleaded. "I'm going to go undercover.=20 PUH-leeeze."

courtesy of 8 Minute Dating

If he only knew her boyfriend was watching...

Details:

Want more speed dating stories? See Beth Walton's REPORTER'S=20 NOTEBOOK.

"Um," he said.

"It will be fun. You can come too and pretend to be a photographer. = There's=20 free booze and sushi."

He took the bait. We had a date.

While speed dating had always sort of appealed to me, I never really = had an=20 excuse to go, since I have been with the same guy for the last two and a = half=20 years.

Suddenly realizing I had no idea how to act single, I turned to my = co-workers=20 for help. They told me I should adopt a bunch of put-on = personalities=97you know,=20 pretend I'm a cat lady, claim that I used to be a lesbian, mention how I = just=20 recently got out of jail and I really miss my bitches.

And so the day came. I snuck out of work early to change into = going-out=20 clothes and do my hair. I even put on heels. I psyched myself up, = practicing=20 lines in the mirror. I'll admit it, I was totally nervous.

My boyfriend and I walked into Nami Sushi downtown. We were in. Now = it was=20 time to mingle.

I'm not sure what happened, but as I scanned the crowd of mostly = attractive=20 twentysomethings dressed to the nines, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't = lie to=20 these people. I couldn't make a mockery of the thing they believed might = change=20 their lives.

As one guy told me, "Meeting people at bars sucks, meeting people at = work=20 sucks, and I'm here for the same reason everyone else is: I'm single and = am=20 unhappy about that."

Craig would have been cute enough, if he wasn't so nervous. He = actually told=20 me he wore a red shirt just in case he spilled wine on himself.

As Craig fumbled for something more to say, I met Chuck, a chubby = older man=20 in his forties. Chuck worked at a law firm. I told him I worked in=20 advertising.

"Advertising, huh? A lot of women work in advertising. That's a field = I=20 should have gone into, har har har." He actually scratched his belly as = he said=20 that.

I needed another drink. I slid into an empty seat next to a girl and = ordered=20 more Cabernet. "If we're going to do this, we might as well get a little = tipsy,"=20 I said.

She agreed and ordered one of her own. Caroline had a law degree and = taught=20 paralegals at a local university. She was really pretty, with perfectly=20 manicured nails, a Prada bag, and no visible dark roots on her dyed = blond=20 hair.

Then it was time for speed dating to begin. For the next eight = minutes, I=20 would talk to a stranger. Then we'd take a moment and write down each = other's=20 name and identification number and decide whether we liked each other = enough for=20 a second date. The following day we could log on to = www.8minutedating.com to=20 find our matches.

Date No. 1: Tom had blond hair, blue eyes, and was = so=20 nervous that he accidentally broke the Mardis Gras beads that were = decorating=20 the table. He talked like a bullet train: He worked construction to pay = the=20 bills, but was trying to be a writer. He used to be a film student and = was=20 working on publishing a children's book about some little kid who = overcomes some=20 sort of childhood adversity and ends up happy in the end.

"When you're writing, it's sort of a strange thing," he explained to = me.=20 "Ideas just come to you and you don't really know what to go with, but = then you=20 just know."

Right, Tom, right.

Date No. 2: Roberto spiced things up quickly. "I = want to=20 meet someone new," he said in a high-pitched Southern drawl. "All the = woman I=20 meet say they aren't married, but then they are. They all say they don't = have a=20 boyfriend, but then they do. I want to find someone who is single."

I sat there for a minute staring at Roberto, a pudgy man in a yellow = Polo,=20 who sounded like a 12-year-old kid calling a phone sex line. I found = myself=20 wondering: Who were all these adulterous women throwing their = relationships into=20 the grinder for this goofball?

"I'm in the medical field, I draw blood for a living," Roberto = continued.

By this time, I was on my fifth glass of wine. I looked over at my = boyfriend=20 and he was happily chatting up some hot girl. I started to think that = maybe this=20 wasn't such a great idea.

Date No. 3: Bruce was the football player I never = got to=20 date in high school. He was thick, well-muscled, and talked about sports = nonstop. This excited me at first; I'd been a total nerd and here was my = chance=20 to retroactively be cool. But while dutifully listening to the 12th = description=20 of his winning play, I realized there was a reason my high school self = didn't=20 date jocks: I don't like sports.

Date No. 4: "Wow, look at you," Chuck said as he = sauntered=20 over to the table. "I remember you."

Right, Chuck, I remember you too. Advertising, ladies, har har = har.

Chuck told me that he graduated from St. Cloud State and wishes he = had gotten=20 sloshed more often because every time he goes on a job interview, they = just=20 assume that he's a hardcore partier anyway.

"Nobody ever asks about my GPA," Chuck lamented.

I told Chuck that in college I was in a sorority.

"What did you have to do to get in?" he asked, leaning forward so far = he=20 nearly knocked over my eighth glass of Cabernet.

"Pillow fight," I said.

"Really? Just like on TV? In your panties and stuff?" Chuck's eyes = rolled=20 back as he drifted into his own little world. "That's awesome. Wow! = That's=20 beautiful."

"Chuck," I said. "I was kidding. It's not really that way."

"That's okay, I was just fantasizing for a moment," Chuck said. "That = just=20 made my night, that visual. Thank you. I'd like to say 'cheers' to = that."

Right, Chuck. Cheers.

Ding, ding, ding. The bells were ringing and the night was over.

Caroline, it seemed, had broken the rules. She hadn't had a fresh = date since=20 intermission, instead spending her time talking to a living Ken doll. = She was=20 blushing like a bride on her honeymoon.

Almost everyone seemed to have found someone special. Bruce, the = football=20 stud, was leaving with an ex-cheerleader. Craig was snuggled up in the = corner=20 with some shy girl; Chuck was trying to look down a woman's shirt. Even = Roberto=20 was reclining in a booth surrounded by a swarm of giggling girls.

At that moment, I wondered where my boyfriend was. I found him off in = the=20 corner, dutifully taking pictures for my story. Speed dating was fun, = but I=20 already had a date and it was time to go home, just the two of us.

On the drive back to Uptown, I proudly boasted that I had gotten = someone's=20 number: Caroline's. I can't wait to hear all about Ken.

write your=20 comment

back=20 to top

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Most Popular

Blogs

Breakfast=20 of Champions 6/18: Oh, baby

Wed Jun 18, 8:05 AM

Reporter's=20 Notebook: Speed Dating

Tue Jun 17, 5:11 PM

Mak= e it a=20 date: Chef Shack

Tue Jun 17, 5:00 PM

St. = Paul Salut: The Preview

Tue Jun 17, 1:40 AM

Bill = Frisell returns to his "oasis"

Wed Jun 18, 4:33 AM

Fly= er of=20 the Week: Nice and Neat

Wed Jun 18, 12:08 AM

Yo= ,=20 Cyclists. Light up!

Tue Jun 17, 1:05 PM

Se= cretary=20 of Defense: Michael Cuddyer

Tue Jun 17, 12:15 PM

Blast=20 Works: Sleeper Hit of the Year?

Wed Jun 18, 5:36 AM

Phoenix=20 gets Retro with Zap! Vintage Video Games

Tue Jun 17, 3:39 AM

Every= body=20 hates John McCain

Wed Jun 18, 8:05 AM

Want = your own political TV ad? Got $500? Boom!

Wed Jun 18, 5:00 AM

Recent Articles

Recent Articles by Beth Walton

Pregnan= t=20 Pause

"So=20 my boyfriend and I went speed dating..."

Minnesota=20 becomes second state to offer treatment to veterans who commit = crimes

M= innesota=20 ranks second-lowest in the nation for total disciplinary actions = against=20 doctors

Mystery=20 illness fells young man

National Features >

Westword

Dr.=20 Eternity

By Joel Warner

Dallas Observer

The=20 Man Who Would Be King

By Jesse Hyde

Broward-Palm Beach New Times

S= hark=20 Huggers

By Amy Guthrie

Phoenix New Times

Visions=20 of Allison DuBois

By Megan Irwin

"So my boyfriend and I went speed dating..."

Our intrepid reporter enters the modern world of = attention=20 deficit dates

By B= eth=20 Walton

Published on June 18, 2008

courtesy of 8 Minute Dating

If he only knew her boyfriend was watching...

Details:

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